She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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