I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
