Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
