Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
