Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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