Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
