Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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