So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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