you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
