it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
