K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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