My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
