Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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