you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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