i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Blood and glitter go together right?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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