no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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