they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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