The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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