ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
