I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize