Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
