Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize