okay pat passed out under dana's car
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
