so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
