and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
