If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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