Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want to make out with him forever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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