Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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