Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
