I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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