YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
