god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
