Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i've created a new STD.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
