no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
