summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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