Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
