sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize