Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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