well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
