i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
