Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize