I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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