Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
