Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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