the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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