what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
