Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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