ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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