So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
only if we run a train.
done.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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