that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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