I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
