god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
