Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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