I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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