marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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