Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize