Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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