in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize