Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
